sucoF etamitnI

I blinked my eyes once or twice,
Thinking them lies I then blinked thrice
As I open my eyes
After three tries I realize,
A little more, than
I did before, can
I understand
The plans I made–
I am dismayed
My plans parade
My façade they promenade.
But in the silent unspoken
An island broken and empty
I soak in my sympathy
For me and myself,
And I find no help
In my broken, breaking, croaking self.

So I blink my eyes
And I search the wide
And think on why
My ego doesn’t hide
Behind my soul,
Why can’t I control
My stance, my one goal
In my romance with Brett,
with me, I chance,
to forget to be me
my identity in
He, my foundation
For I, in my elation,
And also me, in my frustration.

He does not blink,
But sees, through my labels
His view distinct, of Brett Ables,
This new perspective, strange
Reflective, at the range
I marvel of my deranged
Parts to those parts reclaimed.
My larval love, arighted, changed
My butterflying heart crying:
To think that I cannot
Achieve my reprieve, but must
believe, that my lot, it
Is composed, of trust,
Not blinking, thinking not
Eyes closed, I submit
Quiet. I am taught.

Discussion

This was my first attempt at a stream of consciousness poem with loose overlapping rhyming and a emphasis on flow. Most of the vowel sounds and rhymes are echoed 3 or more times in overlap with adjacent rhyme / consonance groups.

The poem in broken into 3 stanzas. In the first I am opening my eyes to my own brokenness. In the second I am looking beyond myself for identity in something better than my own plans, in my case, in God. In the 3rd stanza I am seen by the higher power. My problems are laid bare even more clearly than I knew. I realize that I can’t fix myself, but must trust and submit to the teaching of a higher authority.

Oh, and the title is “Intimate Focus” backwards. Since the entire poem is essentially a meditation on my backwardness, I thought a backward title that you have to blink at a few times was appropriate. :P